First solo performance... BLAH!

[dgpratt]

Sunday morning at church I played Bach’s Sarabande as taught in “Seven Easy Pieces for Classical Guitar” by Frederic Hand. I asked the sounds guys to mic me, but they had trouble getting it right. My guitar happens to have a pickup in it, so they had me plug it in. For some reason the pickup jack is on the end of the guitar, i.e. - I ended up with a three inch long plug sticking into my right leg. I had to adjust and play in a new position AND hear myself in an totally new way (I hate the way a plugged-in guitar sounds for classical playing; mic’d doesn’t seem to have the same oversensitive “touchiness”).

Well I was going to make the best of it. They didn’t really do much of a sound check, saying they could easily adjust on the fly while I’m playing. Well, I hit the opening chord and it was WAY too loud (everybody’s wincing and covering their ears). I press on. They turn the volume down and up and down trying to get it right. I am now quite flustered. Looking back, maybe I should have just stopped at that point, taken a breath, winked sarcastically at the sound guys and started over.

But, I pressed on. Now, for a little background on me and my particular quirks: I have a “benign” condition called Essential Tremor. It is exacerbated by caffeine (which I avoid), exercise (which I do and deal with), and, of course STRESS. Well, at this point I am stressed. My hands start to shake, and I mean uncontrollably. I take a mental breather while playing (learned while practicing and answering requests from my children at the same time), and get the shaking under reasonable control. By this point I have lost my place and just pick a spot in the song to resume. I finished the piece in a reasonably competent manner and the audience applauded politely.

Afterward, many people told me I did wonderfully, but I have a hard time believing them. I did say “thank you” without deriding my own performance (which I desperately wanted to). Although, one of them asked me if I was a professional and I couldn’t help but laugh.

One of the church leaders asked if I would play for them again. I was still flustered from my experience and basically said “no.” She asked why and I mentioned the mic and sound issues for starters, and she said they would have to work on that. However, I can’t help but wonder how much was due to the sound issues and playing position, and how much was nerves that would have been there anyway (enhancing my tremor). Regardless, it was very upsetting, not much fun and made me want to cry.

So what should play next time?

Any advice to keep the nerves/shakes down? (Besides getting the sound issues worked out...)

Thanks for listening,
-Dave.

[Jubilee Valence]

Hey Dave! & Welcome! Join the club...I keep forgetting,when I see a good performance,that this or that professional(and not),has had to overcome not only the basic hurdles,but the "unique" ones such as your n'er do wells at church-aaahh...Meet "Dave- :twisted: sound guy #1"-aka sound BOSS! :evil: --as for severe E.T.-try the ol' Jubi fav-"visualization"--eastern philosophy?--just picture the cost & "impact" of guitar crashing squarely & precisely down,&a little to the left, ...back right..THERE!! I too used "mental breather w/ kids" & of course evolved(de-evolved?) to the kindler, gentler... :wink:---Jubi p.s. l've cried enuff now-I can't even watch a blubbery movie w/out... :cry:now see what'cha done :cry: ---- 8)

[rumbamaster]

Hey Dave. Good job for getting up there! It takes a lot of nerve to do what you did. The sound is never going to be exactly how you want it. That is part of performing live. You have to learn to make the best of it. Chances are the sound guys have no idea how to properly mic a classical guitar and it will just feedback. One thing to do to calm your nerves for next time it to practice at home like it is the gig. What I mean is pretend there is an audience in front of you. If you make a mistake, don't start over. Keep playing through like its a concert. The hardest thing about playing solo is if you make a mistake it is way more obvious than with an ensemble. You have to learn to get through them. Watch yourself in the mirror. Guitarists have a bad habit of making faces when they make a mistake. Don't do that. Play through like nothing happened. Most people will never know as long as you keep playing through and don't make a face. It's funny because if in your mind you know you can deal with a mistake, you gain more confidence and make less mistakes. Keep it up man!

[adamcinho]

Dave,

Dude, I had a recital couple months ago and I was so nervous when I was on the stage.
I think "rumbamaster" had a good points about practicing like it is a gig... You have to practice alot and must be commited to the song that you are playing. Also just stay cool whenever you make a mistake, just keep going until the song is over...

my teacher said,
"playing a song is like sailing to the other side of the destination from A to B."

Have you ever sailed before?

Adam,

[brian richardson]

dgpratt,
i've been there. it's not a nice feeling. remember, not too many
go out there and nail it their first time. i had to play in front of other students-my hands were like an earthquake. i knew the scarlatti piece inside-out. started fine, increased tempo to motorhead speed-panic set in-played faster(if that's possible), then hit the point where it just fell apart. i said sorry to the other students and walked off. i was confronted by some guy who told me that if i didn't get back out there, i'd never play guitar again. i feared for my physical safety, he looked the type. so i went out and tried again. brilliant isn't even close to the word i'd use to describe my playing, but i finished it with some degree of self-respect. later the guy came back at me with a, "didn't mean to scare you but......." turns out he was a pro, had gone thru the same experience i was, and knew getting right back on that horse was the answer. i thank him for that.

the fact that you went out there/did it under less than perfect conditions, will make the next time easier. good for you dave!

[Shroomy726]

Dave,
I think you are awesome for even daring to perform in front of an audience. I get very VERY shasky when I have to play in front of anyone at all. But then I think that if you make the smallest mistake then normal people who don't play guitar won't notice it, so don't worry. Mistakes are human. Just focus on the song and have fun, thats all there is to it!
I think you should do it again!

[miramadar]

I took Beginning Piano in college. We had to perform an original composition (1st species counterpoint, if I remember correctly) for the class for a grade. The class was relatively small...about 15 students. I'm not a piano player, and most of the students in the class, though music majors by and large, weren't piano players. Anyway, I'm a philosophy major with an interest in music and I sit down to perform my piece. My piece isn't too hard. I'd played it numerous times back in my dorm room. So, I start to play and at first it goes okay. But once I made a mistake, it was over. My hands started to shake and I couldn't finish. My teacher, who was an accomplished graduate from Juliard, told me, and the class, that nerves were something that every performer just has to deal with. So, you're not alone dgpratt. I've read about deep breathing techniques that have worked well. Also, familiarity seems to be important. Try to sit in a "standard" position. When practicing, try to calm yourself as much as possible in that standard position. Do this often. Then, when it's time to perform, when you get in the standard position, you'll be more apt to be relaxed and play better. Might work!!

My mother suffers from Essential Tremors. She's a stenographer and it really has an effect on her work. She says a glass of wine (or shot of bourbon!) works great. Anyone that plays rock n roll will tell you that the hands are the first to go when you're drinking...so do this very sparingly when you perform.

My first public performance was at a book signing! Anyway, the sound was horrible and my playing wasn't much better. But I got a lot of compliments afterwards. Yeah, most of them were only being nice. But I'm sure some of them actually thought I played well. Just goes to show you, you're your own worst critic and it's usually not as bad as it seems.

[APERTURE]

Dave,
Good for you! You've made is past a big hurdle - first solo performance. You can see by the responses here that many of us have to deal with performance anxiety. As for me, I'm still working up the courage to 'perform'.
There are two things I am doing to try to build up confidence. One is to play (practice) in front of other people. If my wife has friends over, or if we go to visit others, I'll take my guitar. I'll sit and practice. If someone asks "Are you going to play for us?" I say "No, I'm just practicing - I like to play whenever I can". In these situations I am largely ignored. But what the others don't realize is that I am analyzing my self-conciousness and nervousness and gauging what impact it has on my playing. It seems to fade after one or two short pieces. (It always starts out the same - I'm a little shaky and tense - I grip the neck too tightly and a piece I know I can play with ease becomes a major struggle).
The second thing I do is videotape myself occasionally. I thought that I might catch some good playing on video, put together a DVD and show it to others. I have actually done that and I even feel nervous showing it, but the reactions of others have been very enthusiastic and complimentary. One thing I learned from videotaping is that the experiences of the performer and audience are VERY different. I might feel that I didn't play a piece very well (being aware of every little imperfection while playing), but when reviewing the tape I'll get excited and say "That was great!" - I can't hear what I thought was bad when playing.
Btw, I studied "Seven Easy Pieces" a couple of years ago and the Sarabande is in my rep. I really learned a lot from that tape. If you learned "Simple Gifts" from that tape that would be a good one to play next time. - Also, just about every week at Church I am asked "When are you going to bring your guitar and play for us?" I wish I had the guts. :oops:
Regards,
James

[dgpratt]

Thank you all for the encouragement and kind words. It was definately a learning experience. There is some good advice in here and I will try much of it (although a shot of bourbon before a church performance may not be one of them! :wink: - if just they used real wine at my church for communion...)

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words and to this forum in general for giving me a place to talk about this with people who understand.

Cheers,
-Dave.

[Travis_Warner]

Hi Dave!

Well...i had a similar experience when i first played guitar in public. However...as time went by...i did better. I have an Uncle with "tremors" who also is a guitar player. What he does is has a beer or 2 before a performance. Now...this might seem wrong at church..but if it helps you...why not? So..my advice...go ahead and try to do it for a second time. Get there early, get all the mic issues sorted out. Last thing...be confident! the moment you start to think less of yourself...the snowball affect occurs. Good luck!

[KBurke]

Like everyone else who's posted to this thread, I have had the experience of trembling hands in the few times I've played guitar in public. I have attributed it not to nerves, but to adreneline. I've always approached the performance with anticipation - it's fun and exciting to play before a group - even if the group is largely there to hear someone else. It seems that playing only one song is harder than playing several. You just start to get past the rush and calm down a little and it's over!

Anyway, does anyone else think it's excitement as much as it is nerves?

[Beumont_suite]

The good thing about this thread is it's something that everyone here can relate to. Myself, I avoid performing as much as possible. I feel, however, that that's a mistake. Getting better requires that i do it as much as possible. I recently had to make the decision of either trying to record a CD or work on the performance side of my playing. I went with the CD because when i screw up i can just re-record and avoid the humiliation that i would get from screwing up in a performance. That way everyone would be able to hear my playing, with no further discomfort to myself.

[M. Stephenson]

For what it is worth, I think that you should play again.

Eventually, it will become rewarding and if nothing else will give you some memories to cherish.

The very first time I played in public, a church gong show, the mic. fell out of the holder, went loudly crashing to the floor and dented the windscreen. That set the tone for the rest of the performance. I did not get gonged, but someone in the audience yelled "Gong him!" while I was playing.

Now when I get stressed I forget the music. I play along and wham - I do not remember what comes next.

This happened earlier this year at my great uncles 90th birthday. He was a very good guitarist and viola player (which he played like a fiddle) and i owe much to him. My relatives had heard my recordings, but the live performance was a total wash out - I forgot song after song.

I now go the Sam Ash to practice playing in public. I also record myself more becasue recording for me is just as stressful as playing in front of people.

Keep up the playing.

[utahpaulo]

This has been my plan for performing;
Started off REALLY low key... actually started with my 2 year old, ("daddy wants to play you a song"). Did that for a while. Then on to close family members and very informal, (them; "play us a few tunes, Paul", me; "well you know... I'm a little rusty but... alright".) Then, onto family AND friends. (Family will love you know matter what, good friends will tell you the truth. So, I consider this a step up.) This is where I am now. Next will be strangers who aren't there to listen to me. aka background music, (restaurants, etc.) Hopefully after that, my stuff will be tight enough to do some small formal stuff, (one song). Then on to actual "gigs", etc. etc.
Just confidence building is all.... What do you all think?

[dgpratt]

Hey M. Stephenson - a "gong show" for your first public performance?! Now THAT took guts. At least I knew that if I screwed up the audience wouldn't notice or would at least be polite about it. But the potential of being "gonged" off-stage.... oy....

[DDague]

That night, I had a private house call. Too close for comfort; I pleaded with my brother to help me through the ackwardness. He played bass and shared profit 50/50. Brought sheet music for 3 and couldn't remember anything, ofcoarse now I could play all night.
I blathered some facts on composers and such; time still left i composed a classical song on the spot, rasequado here or there, trying to get into it- the houdy-toudy audience was silent after I stopped. It was a contemporary piece by Jack Mehoff. Preperation is the word Sir Dave.

[BluYanqui]

As someone who suffers from severe performance anxiety, I congratulate you Dave for "facing the fire". I have had three recitals in my life while in school for guitar, and all three left psychological scars in one way or another. I learned the hard way not to choose a Mendellsohn piece for your very first public performance *shudder*. But I recently discovered the perfect place to ease your way into public performance.............the local music store. You will have people all around, many of whom don't have a clue about music, some who do, and the rare professional. But all are usually polite and even fascinated when someone picks up a classical and plays. I have had butt-kicking blues guitarists say they wished they could play classical like I do, which absolutely stunned me. Either way, I have found that playing in front of folks in a music store has made it easier for me to play in public in general without the usual terror levels. Just a thought.

[daniel711]

In a performance class at Juiliard that I took last year, I'll always remember something the professor said: He said, 'If you can't do it with the adrenaline pumping, you don't own it'. I'll never forget that... Yes, I agree with a previous post, that adrenaline is huge part of the problem. Alcohol will not help your performance, only quell the pain a little. I've played several recitals, and have had a meltdown, so I can relate very well. My best result occured when I chose very simple material, that I could play exceptionally well. My meltdown occured when I had to play two Bach preludes that were at the limits of my ability. The experience still sticks in my throat. Another solution that I have experienced is taking a low dose Beta blocker (Inderal), if your doctor will prescribe it. The effect is profound. In any case, it gives me strength to know that most of us have experienced this pain. But we must get right back up and try again and again...IMHO :wink:

[Travis_Warner]

As someone who suffers from severe performance anxiety, I congratulate you Dave for "facing the fire". I have had three recitals in my life while in school for guitar, and all three left psychological scars in one way or another. I learned the hard way not to choose a Mendellsohn piece for your very first public performance *shudder*. But I recently discovered the perfect place to ease your way into public performance.............the local music store. You will have people all around, many of whom don't have a clue about music, some who do, and the rare professional. But all are usually polite and even fascinated when someone picks up a classical and plays. I have had butt-kicking blues guitarists say they wished they could play classical like I do, which absolutely stunned me. Either way, I have found that playing in front of folks in a music store has made it easier for me to play in public in general without the usual terror levels. Just a thought.

I have to agree with you. Playing in your local guitar shop is a great way to get rid of nerves. I've had similar experience with people coming up to me and wishing they could pick like me, but then again, most of them are better flat pickers than I will ever be, but it's a nice trade off.